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S.G. Longpig's Hives of Horror
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absence & essence


Well, today I had my 1-day installation at the School of Art. I titled it 'absence and essence,' for want of a better idea. I guess I'm satisfied with how it turned out, although things can always be better... It is still a work in progress, after all.

I ended up using 25W bulbs, each housed in an MDF box, with the glass slides fitted in the front. The images were projected onto free-hanging paper screens. I showed 5 images, all of my mother and sister, in a rough semi-circle.

It seemed like there were quite a few comments in my little envelope when I checked in at lunchtime - obviously I haven't looked at any of them yet. I hope some of them will be nice! ;) Tomorrow I'll be seeing Chris, and I hope he will be nice as well!

If you are interested, video footage of the installation is available on my facebook and Youtube. There are 2 on FB, one long pass over the whole exhibit and a shorter one showing the motion of the screens; but I've only got the longer one up on Youtube at the moment. There are also some still images on facebook, which should be viewable to everyone. I welcome questions and would very much appreciate any comments/suggestions!

mini-statement )

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Current Location: Aberystwyth
i feel: artistic
groovin' on: Tom Waits - Poor Edward

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in need of suggestions
I am in need of some plinths/pedestals for a short installation (2.5 days incl. set up and tear down) I am putting up next week. I thought the School of Art had some I could use but they have turned out to be the wrong height. What I need is 2-4 (minimum 2) of these things, waist high at the lowest, to chest high at the highest. The platform area needs to be around 10"x10" - bigger would be alright if it's not obnoxiously so. All of them must be the same size. (I guess if there was one really big table on which I could fit all my objects that might work too, but it would be a miracle to find one the right size to have all the things in their correct positions.)

I really, really don't want to build these if I don't have to, as I already have to make a bunch of boxes and I don't exactly excel at carpentry, so if anyone can suggest something that I could do/use it would be extremely helpful.

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Current Location: Aberystwyth
i feel: hungry

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more work
Trudging ever onward to... something... Did I have a goal? I forget!

Anyway, I did some more work tweaking the projections and such tonight. I wrote some comments/explanation about them in the facebook album, which I'm too tired to put in here as well... Please take a look there and comment/give suggestions, if you are so inclined! There are also a few new videos as well (again, viewable only if you're on facebook; sorry).

Basically the rear projection seems to work ok with a 12W bulb on tracing paper. The paper diffuses the flare of the bulb in a way that my cloth cannot, it seems. So that's progress I guess; if I could get like a roll of tracing paper I could hang that up and project on it. I'm still not satisfied though, really.

I'm finding that the candle bulb is just too dim unless it's in blackout conditions. In order to have it throw an image at all, it has to be right up against the glass, which puts the picture way out of focus). I did order some of the LED candles in the end; I hope they come soon and are so fabulous that they solve all my problems. :p

I have a meeting with my supervisor tomorrow, and wonder if I will feel better or worse afterward...

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Current Location: Aberystwyth
i feel: drained
groovin' on: Faith and the Muse - Soul in Isolation

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LED candles - thoughts?
As mentioned in a previous post, I am struggling to find a good lighting arrangement for my projections. The lovely [info]curtana suggested trying LED candles, such as these, to provide the flicker without the flame, to steal an advertising slogan. The problem is that nowhere in Aberystwyth sells them, and I can't find anywhere online that sells the votive size at a non-retarded price. Basically, I can get one for $20, or 10 for $90 (including shipping). So before I shell out for either, I am hoping that someone out there can give me some kind of review. Has anyone used/seen these things? How did they look in action? The problem that I had with the traditional flicker-flame bulb was that the flame was very red, and very spastic.

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Current Location: Aberystwyth
i feel: hungry
groovin' on: AFI - Morningstar

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work, ish
I have been having a really hard time doing anything at all, as some of you know. Still, I have managed to do a bit of work on my project in the past week or so. I don't know if I've made any progress, but I did do some work... I put some images (check the end of the album) and videos of the stuff I have on the go up on my Facebook (the photos are publically viewable, but not the videos, sorry).

I have an installation to do at the end of the month and I'm trying to figure out how to go about it, since I will not be allowed to use candles (stupid health and safety BS) as I was hoping (see earlier stuff in said FB album). The images I took the other night are shots of rear-projections onto a polycotton sheet, using a 3W flicker-flame bulb and a 12W sign bulb, and both 'full frame' and round image slides. The idea with projecting onto a hanging sheet was that the movement of the cloth (it sort of undulates in even the slightest draft) would act as a possible substitute for the flickering of a real candle flame. Unfortunately the projections don't seem to photograph very well; I wonder if I might get better results with a film camera.

Issues:

- I don't know if you can even tell it's a person at all in a lot of these shots... I mean, I don't want portrait-quality projections at all, but it would be nice if you could at least tell that the picture used to be a human.

- The candle bulb's filament is very visible through the glass & sheet as a bright orange point of light and seems pretty distracting. The flicker is also kind of spastic.

- The 12 W bulb doesn't have the flicker effect, seems to produce a clearer and not-orange image on the sheet. It looks more flared out in the photos than it actually was, but again there's a pretty big bright spot where the bulb actually is and I'm not sure how to fix that. I can't just project on a wall because then I'd have the projection box in front of the image, and it would be obscured...

I'm also working on some little talisman type things with tiny images on glass beads. I'm not sure how or if they fit in to the rest of my project but I wanted to make them, and I figure if there's anything I want to do enough that it motivates me to do something other than eat candy and be sad, I should probably do it.

Anyhoo, comments or suggestions are greatly appreciated... I'm not feeling great about it atm, as you may have guessed.

EDIT: Now with non-sideways videos!

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Current Location: Aberystwyth
i feel: crappy
groovin' on: Billie Holiday - Big Stuff

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digital disappointment
I am desperately in need of a new digital camera. Mine is on the brink of death. The 'down' button no longer works, so I can't zoom out. I also can't scroll down in any menus (they don't roll over), meaning if I set my camera on any mode above the default ones, I have to completely reset it in order to get back there. I can't set it to any of the modes below the defaults at all. This includes video, which is very disappointing since I wanted to be able to show people what the flickering projections really look like.

Sadly, I can't afford even a little piece o' crap digicam, let alone a nice one that would be more than just 'adequate' for documenting my work... So I don't know what I'm going to do. Theoretically the school has cameras to borrow, but when I went to the designated equiment sign out place today at the designated equipment sign out time, the tech was nowhere to be found -- I looked all over the freakin' school! Having one's own camera is always vastly preferable anyway, as besides being often unavailable, or only available for restricted amounts of time, school equipment tends to be handled carelessly... Nobody takes care of crap they didn't have to pay for. :/

Anyhoo... A new batch of images taken with my moribund camera is up on my facebook from the latest round of experiments. This time the prints are on round lenses. I'm not sure whether I like them as much as the flat ones, although I can't say 100% why. I feel like I'm on the *verge* of something with these glass pieces, but I don't know what the next step is. Feedback would be greatly appreciated!

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Current Location: Aberystwyth
i feel: sick

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art ladies
I am missing my art ladies especially lately... It would be really nice to be able to discuss work/ways of working/being an artist with someone other than a supervisor, without having to explain what I'm all about first.

Tomorrow I have a tutorial session with that woman who [probably] thinks I'm retarded, so I was going over things to talk about in the hopes (ha!) that I will come off as less dumb. One of the things she was talking about was creating an identity or a position for oneself as an artist which will protect you when your work, being very personal as mine is, makes you vulnerable. Some people adopt a humourous/ironic kind of voice, which I have done in the past with stuff like the hysterics -- adopting ironic and false identities, using masquerade -- but that's not really appropriate for the work I'm doing now. Anyway, I realized how much I really need to talk about these things with someone who's on kind of even footing with me -- i.e. not someone who has sway over my academic career... So I don't know... What am I? What should I be?

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Current Location: Aberystwyth
i feel: cold
groovin' on: that silly painting dog game

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work in progress
I'm starting a photo album for pictures of what I'm currently working on, in the hopes that I might get some constructive feedback... Who knows?

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Current Location: Aberystwyth
i feel: depressed

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aberystwyth, mon amour
OK... sorry for the cheesy title.

I am just sitting around waiting for my breakfast to settle so that I can try to go running for the first time since arriving (:/) and I thought I might make a bit of an attempt to catch people up. I've been here almost a week now and barely posted! Most of that is due to exhaustion/jet lag, but I've been fairly busy as well.

The flight to Gatwick was blessedly uneventful, full of mostly old people. It was quiet and I actually managed to sleep a bit -- in fact, I almost slept through breakfast, but I managed to catch the flight attendant a few rows down. :D Gatwick airport was fairly lame though. I had to wait 1.5 hours to get to passport control. The line was so long that for the first 30-45 minutes I couldn't even see the immigration hall. D: They had a pretty pathetic number of officers on duty. Once I got to the desk it was all very straightforward, though. Huzzah! Ian was wondering if something had happened to me by the time I got out... but no, Gatwick immigration is just crap. It was like 10 in the morning too, so it's not as though people were on lunch! I had been feeling pretty decent when I got off the plane, but the long wait carrying my heavy laptop sucked the life right out of me, and I slept through much of the various train jaunts. We got to Aber at about 7:30 and went out to eat at Little Italy (yum!) before crashing.

Since then I've been seeing various people and trying to get my life organized... I've got my bank account set up, but I can't do a lot else until I go to the induction on the 24th and get my class schedule and student card. Then I'll be able to pay my tuition, get my CoE for student loans, get a job, join the gym, etc... I still don't know when my darn stuff is arriving, either! I'm supposed to call the UK end of the company again tomorrow... I have a couple new names to try, so hopefully I can finally get a real ETA. I found out that the one I had -- September 11/12 -- was technically correct, being the date the stuff arrives in the port, but it doesn't take into account the time it will take for the shipment to clear Customs. I was all excited by the speedy arrival, too! I want my stuff! Although I'm not sure where it's all going to go... The bookshelves are already full of Ian's games and DVDs and such. It will be nice to have a bigger selection of clothes. I actually bought some cheap shoes here (and a pricey skirt but hey the shoes were REALLY cheap OK) because all I had were boots and running shoes.

I met with my supervisor yesterday morning, and despite my anxiety, yes, it went fine. I feel much better about the degree now, although I'm still not really sure where to start! At least I don't feel like I shouldn't be here now. Chris told me that he went through pretty much the same thing -- finishing school, then ending up just working and not producing any art, so he decided he would have to get back into education if he was going to be an artist. That is exactly how I feel, so hurray. He has his PhD now and teaches at UWA; hopefully I can make it too. Oh! And he mentioned there was some other source of funding that the school are putting my name forward for (since the ORSAS thing got screwed). I have no details but any money would be good, so fingers crossed. I love the school of art; everyone there is so helpful and competent; in stark contrast to the University's administration...:p

Oh and I LOVE the flat! We have a huge tub with frickin' jets in it! The water pressure is pretty good. Lots of windows, lots of nice warm sunlight... and you can get a really great crossbreeze going if it gets *too* hot. The kitchen is great, the oven heats evenly, and the fridge is a good size by British standards anyway. Ian has the surround sound and projector set up in the living room. We have been watching Beast Wars on it. B) Our room is big and has a skylight! The apartment's windows look out over the town, with a view of Pen Dinas and the NLW on one side, and the... post office depot on the other :V. We are across the street from a bakery, and roughly 5 minutes' walk from a decent grocery store (about ten from the super cheap one, Lidl).

What else? I made a pie last night... Also, my USB cord turned up at John & Michelle's after all, so I will even be able to take pictures to post again! Hoozoooo!

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Current Location: Aberystwyth
i feel: groggy
groovin' on: something thumpy on Pandora

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disappointment
So it's official now... I did not get a single one of the scholarships I applied for. It's a pretty big blow to my self-esteem. What business do I have trying to do a Ph.D. in art anyway? I haven't done a single thing since I finished my Master's. All I have are excuses. Other people have it as bad or worse as I do and still produce. I just don't have 'it:' the motivation, the drive, the whatever it is that makes someone a real artist.

It is going to be like 36 degrees today so I won't even be able to go to the gym to work out my woes. Or is that just another excuse?

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i feel: depressed

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baudelaire is yummy
I have had Les Fleurs du Mal sitting on my shelf for ages, and I finally cracked it open. I am really enjoying it. It's done so that the original French verse is in one half of the book, and the English translation is in the other. I'm impressed with how seldom I have to check back (some of the vocabulary is on the eclectic side, as one would expect)! There is one poem in particular (so far) that makes me especially happysad; I would like to share it with you all:

L'albatros )

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i feel: thoughtful

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Wow, yesterday hit rock bottom like you wouldn't believe. I just have to share because it was so ridiculous.

I had bought myself some frozen salmon fillets, the kind that come 2 in a box -- yes, I'm poor, frozen fishblocks constitute a treat -- and was looking forward to a decent dinner at least. So I slap the fish on a plate and (foolishly) cover it loosely with saran wrap. The saran wrap proceeds to MELT all over the fish and the plate. In despair I pick it up to scrape the mess into the garbage only to have the plate spontaneously shatter in my hand, while I am of course in my bare feet. So now I'm on my hands and knees wearing only a shirt and underwear (because I always weigh myself after work on Mondays) crying and trying to sweep/wipe up all the tiny shards of glass.

Ugh.

The phone rang later and I was sure it would be because someone had died, the way the day was going... D: Fortunately it was... the glass studio people! They have a space free now. So I'm going to blow glass in February, which is awesome. I'm still too drained from yesterday to feel properly happy about it, but I think I will get more excited as it gets closer.

Today I have bees real bad, and it's one of those days where I can't seem to get the cup in quite right... Went to try and fix it and got blood on my white shirt cuffs. :/ So who knows where *this* day is headed...

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i feel: bees

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